50 Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help but Laugh At

Knock knock.

Happy girl laughing against a colorful tiles background. Concept of joyasife/ShutterstockWho’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c–

MOO!

We had to start off this collection of bad jokes with one of the oldest in the book.

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom…

Close up portrait of beautiful young black woman laughing against wallmimagephotography/Shutterstock… and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

nature, summer holidays, vacation and people concept - close up of happy young woman lying on cereal field and covering face by handSyda Productions/ShutterstockDam.

Sometimes the best bad jokes are the shortest. Check out these 30 short jokes anyone can memorize.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Cute little blonde girl in her pajamas on bedroomLopolo/ShutterstockA fsh.

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What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

Senior mother sitting in cafe bar or restaurant with her middle age daughter and enjoying in conversation.hedgehog94/ShutterstockA can’t opener!

What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?

Laughing babe in bed, overhead viewsanneberg/Shutterstock

Get it? Bad jokes don’t even need a punch line to be funny!

There are three types of people in the world:

Senior woman enjoying a laugh with her granddaughter. They are sitting on the sofa together.DGLimages/ShutterstockThose who can count and those who can’t. Check out these 25 clever jokes that’ll make you sound smart.

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

group of multiethnic senior friends spending time togetherLightField Studios/ShutterstockHe pasta-way.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven.

Happy friends holding each otherRawpixel.com/ShutterstockOne turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.” The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!”

I sold my vacuum the other day.

Young mother with her 6 years old little son dressed in pajamas are relaxing and playing in the bed at the weekend together, lazy morning, warm and cozy scene.Alena Ozerova/ShutterstockAll it was doing was collecting dust.

What is Forrest Gump’s email password?

Asian kids happiness and smileRun always/Shutterstock1forrest1

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?

Portrait of a beautiful liitle girl close-upTatyana Vyc/ShutterstockHe won the “no-bell” prize. Check out these jokes that sum up the history of the world.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

Man and woman dating in cafeOlena Yakobchuk/Shutterstock10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.

What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum?

Two black race friends having fun with mobile. Friends Conceptsantypan/ShutterstockThey’re both purple except for the rabbit. Here are 21 more anti-jokes you can’t help but laugh at.

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.

Young happy couple having fun talking laughing relaxing at home on couch, boyfriend embracing girlfriend telling funny joke sitting on sofa, humor in relationships, enjoying weekend togetherfizkes/ShutterstockOne asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

I like elephants.

Senior man talking with his adult sons in garden, close upMonkey Business Images/ShutterstockEverything else is irrelephant.

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What’s red and bad for your teeth?

Laughing couple cuddling in a hammockMonkey Business Images/ShutterstockA brick.

Two guys walk into a bar.

Outdoor portrait of happy smiling couple in love having fun together. Young Caucasian man with tenderness looks at his laughing Latin beloved on the background of garlands of lightsshurkin_son/ShutterstockThe third guy ducks.

What do you call a fake noodle?

Senior couple laughing while reading newspaper in bedroomwavebreakmedia/ShutterstockAn impasta.

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

Laughing young woman wearing sunglasses driving a car with her girl friend , close up profile view through the open windowUber Images/ShutterstockFor drizzle.

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Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?

four friends laughingYulai Studio/ShutterstockHe just needed some space. You won’t want to miss these 20 hilarious science jokes.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

Friends having fun in a cafe.Liderina/ShutterstockAn in-vest-igator.

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Closeup portrait of beautiful african young woman laughing against grey wallmimagephotography/ShutterstockReality.

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

Father and son laughing.pixelheadphoto digitalskillet/ShutterstockAfter a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Love animals? Check out these hilarious vet office signs that will make you LOL.

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Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

Outdoor Portrait Of Loving Mother And DaughterMonkey Business Images/ShutterstockBecause then it’d be a foot.

The wedding was so beautiful.

Laughing woman in marine shirt with curly hair over white wall. Toothy smile and red lips.Mark Nazh/ShutterstockEven the cake was in tiers.

Why don’t dinosaurs talk?

boy is laughing loudly in cafePetrovich Nataliya/ShutterstockBecause they’re dead.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Smiling senior employee discussing email with african colleague at workplace, happy older worker talking to black coworker joking about online computer work, aged and young managers laugh in officefizkes/ShutterstockGet it?

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What do you call a fly with no wings?

Experienced mature female chief editor holding glasses in one hand and book in other, laughing at sarcastic style of narration while reading novel of popular author. Writing and publishing conceptshurkin_son/ShutterstockA walk.

What did the mime say to his audience?

Close up side portrait of happy african american woman laughingmimagephotography/ShutterstockNothing. He held his character because he’s a professional. Next time there’s an uncomfortable silence at work, try these work jokes that can diffuse any awkward situation.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Side view shot of fit young woman standing outdoors, looking away and laughing. Happy female runner in sportswear in morning.Jacob Lund/ShutterstockMake me one with everything.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Happy latin mom and little daughter outside.Ruslana Iurchenko/Shutterstock“Supplies!”

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It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad.

Two young pretty girls in casual stylish wear laughing while sitting at cafeDean Drobot/ShutterstockIt’s a faux pa.

What did the buffalo say when his son left?

Japanese woman laughing at living room, sitting on red sofaDaisuke Morita/ShutterstockBison!

What’s green and has wheels?

Senior sportswoman laughing with female friend by sea pierDavid Pereiras/ShutterstockGrass. I lied about the wheels.

My new thesaurus is terrible.

Pretty positive young woman with short haircut laughing in urban setting with night lights enjoying leisure time in New York.Happy hipster in stylish wear and eyewear having fun on megapolis streetGaudiLab/ShutterstockNot only that, but it’s also terrible. Don’t miss these 20 grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Young Asian girl whispering gossip or secret to her friend with smile and laughinterstid/ShutterstockBob.

What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?

Portrait of two attractive girls dressed in jeans blue and yellow jackets having fun and laughing against a black wall.dekazigzag/ShutterstockA small medium at large.

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

Closeup cropped portrait of happy and funny brunette woman smiling and laughing with hand on mouth, against nature meadow background with windy hair. People, travel and lifestyle concept. Cover mood.Yuricazac/Shutterstock“Oops!”

What did Blackbird say when he turned 80?

Portrait of laughing couple standing together with mobile phonemimagephotography/Shutterstock“Aye, matey.” Here are 21 scurvy pirate jokes ye should tell the rest o’ ye crew.

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Three fish are in a tank.

Portrait of happy young african american woman standing against white backgroundmimagephotography/ShutterstockOne asks the others, “How do you drive this thing?”

What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

Coach spending time mentoring a student athlete.digitalskillet/ShutterstockA polar bear.

What do you call a man who can’t stand?

Prosperous female employee enjoying coffee break while talking on smartphone near office. Cheerful happy businesswoman in corporate wear laughing during mobile conversation outdoors in city downtown GaudiLab/ShutterstockNeil.

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…

Business woman in spectacles sitting at her desk in office and laughing. Woman sitting in office with laptop computer on her desk.Jacob Lund/Shutterstock… but then I turned myself around. You’ll definitely want to see the best jokes from your favorite comedians.

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Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?

Close up shot of three young women having fun outdoorsArtem Varnitsin/ShutterstockThey were cooked in Greece.

I don’t trust stairs.

Portrait of a young, attractive and elegant Indian Asian lady in a warm and cosy cafe. She is laughing in a natural, relaxed manner.mentatdgt/ShutterstockThey’re always up to something.

Wife: “How do I look?”

Portrait of smiling young african man sitting at cafe with a friendmimagephotography/ShutterstockHusband: “With your eyes.” Now that’s a dad joke if we ever heard one. Here are more groan-worthy dad jokes you’ll still laugh at.

What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?

Mature Female Friends Socializing In Backyard TogetherMonkey Business Images/ShutterstockI don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

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Have you heard the rumor about butter?

two young beautiful females laughing talking having good time sitting in parksavageultralight/ShutterstockNever mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Young couple looking at photos on tablet computer laughingPeter Bernik/ShutterstockNobody knows. Can’t get enough bad jokes? Don’t miss our favorite corny jokes everyone will laugh at.

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